I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
