Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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