y did u give ur computer a hand job?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Terrible idea I love it
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
