Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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