Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
