can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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