If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
