Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
