Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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