This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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