Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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