Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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