my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
