Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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