sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
