It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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