Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We left an ass print on the piano.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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