so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
