im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
