Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
