Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
do nipples grow back?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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