After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
