What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
