girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
