One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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