I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
