Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
