You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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