you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
