why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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