i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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