Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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