a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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