Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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