He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
