was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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