I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
