I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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