we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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