I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He better not be in your backpack
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
