go do what you do best...puke behind churches
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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