id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
