dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
