Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Send help, water and tortillas.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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