He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
