DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
