Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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