i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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