its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
