what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Semen is not good for contacts.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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