im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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