new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
